No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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