Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
