her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
