And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Text me some of your sweat
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