I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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