Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize