I'm drive I can fine osifer
pop tarts are not kleenex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
