Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
