Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
