I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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