we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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