Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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