so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want to walk on stilts...naked
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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