yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize