Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
