i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
