I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
