He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
