garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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