your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
