I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
