So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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