You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
