Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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