i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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