so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize