im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
