marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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