he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
