I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My nipple is on Facebook.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
