Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
