That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
