im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
