I'm so fucking centered right now
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
