just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
