Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
