i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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