If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
