So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
