my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
