i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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