i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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