i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her vagine was all disorganized.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
