I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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