he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
