3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
