Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
