On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
