New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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