I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
