There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
