Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
