no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
