OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
