We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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