I cannot find my penis.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
