Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
