I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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