I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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