Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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