saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
